Back with a new style.

Welcome to a special musical edition of the blog formerly known as one step ahead. I will take you through 8 songs that evoke deep emotions and cause me to think or to reminisce. I will go over key points in the songs that are especially wonderful. Hopefully the track that I have chosen are ones that maybe you haven't heard before. Here it goes.

1. Just One Day - Mighty Oaks

 

 

The beginning of this track is really what instantly captured me. I didn't need to wait for the chorus. I knew that this song would be one that I'd put on repeat and listen to tirelessly. 50 seconds in, we here a break and the singer shouts and abrupt HO! and the song takes a turn for the better. The beat picks up and you can't help but sing along. There is one line in this song that will always stand out: "all this time I pictured you standing next to me so we could go find things we've never seen." Maybe that only sticks out to a hopeless romantic like me, but I love it.

 

2. Turbine - Barbarossa

 

 

 





This song is a big shift in style. The quiet funky bluesyness of this just makes me want to drive an American muscle car and cruise the streets. Windows rolled down, driving slow, head nods to the neighbors. The whole nine yards. I imagine the boyfriend's-tshirt-wearing type of girl that all us typical men wish we had in our lives. The bass line and the beat of the drums do nothing but cause an involuntary head bob on my part. Listen and enjoy, ye Americans.

 

3. Seven Seas - Golden Youth

 

 



 

This song's quiet melody can melt the heart of anyone that listens. It's one of those songs that just makes you want to fall in love. Stephanie Lauren's angelic voice coupled with the heartfelt lyrics are just enough to make you stop whatever you are doing just to listen intently. I love the use of the vintage cameras in the music video. It only adds to the beauty of the song.

 

4. If You're My Girl, Then I'm Your Man - Papa

 

 

To start, I really love the part at the end of the video where she hold up the American flag. I'm not sure why that stands out to me. The singers voice is so very unique. It's actually quite soothing to me. Other than the occasional explicit lyric, I love the words in the song "I just wanna be your man. F*** my past, forget your plans." I think it's just trying to help us not use so many excuses and reasons to avoid love and to just embrace it.

 

5. Float - Pacific Air

 

 

I actually heard and loved this song a year ago when this group went by a different name. They were called KoKo before they switched over to Pacific Air. This is a fun one to sing along to. The lyrics are catchy and the music its happy and snappy. It's just enough to brighten ones mood. " I love this line: "I don't want to be young, but I don't want to die." I think that accurately describes the current generation we live in.

 

6. Bloom - The Paper Kites

 

 

This is probably the most well-known song that I am posting about, but it is an excellent song nonetheless. The opening guitar gets you hooked and before you know it the song is ending and you have to start it over again just to hear it one more time. This group knows how to write great music. Music that calms, uplifts and inspires. Give them a look-see.

 

7. It Was Good - Les Enfants

 

 

I love this song. It's one of my go to pick-me-up songs. Another sappy love song for us romantic types. This song also paints a picture in my mind of a life that wouldn't mind having. I see a sunset on the coast. Walking hand in hand on the beach with the girl of your dreams. The colors are muted and the feel is vintage. Mmmmm if only.

 

8. The Ash & Clay - The Milk Carton Kids

 

 

Last but not least we have the Milk Carton Kids. This song is amazing. It has an intense calming power. It's pretty much impossible to be angry while listening to this song. The music video is just two old ladies driving in a car. What is more relaxing than that? The slow guitar in the background just speaks to the soul. Enjoy.

 

I hope as you've gone through the songs on this post you can kind of get a better insight into my life and my personality. I can express my feelings very well through words, but I show my life through pictures and music. Please feel free to comment on this post. Things that you liked/didn't like. Until next time.

 

T.

Maturity Means Refinement

To be quite honest I have been rather upset lately. I've been letting the little things get to me again. Frustratingly enough we are guilty many times of not practicing what we preach. I will repeat what I have said before, these blog posts are just as much for my benefit (if not, more), as they are for those of you who take the time to read them. Anyway, we are in a constant struggle to not only correct our mistakes, but to stay on a path that prevents us from repeating them. It's part of growing up. I'm not a teenager anymore even though, at times, I can act like one.

I talk a lot about growing up. I think there are some misconceptions about my intentions. I do not write the things I do to chastise those around me, I merely point out the observations I make about what I feel the general consensus is. If I notice the immaturity of several people (myself included) I will more than likely say something about it. But what is immaturity/maturity? People, I think, have the wrong idea as to what is meant behind these two words.

For me, immaturity can be denoted by ones' unwillingness to grow. It could, however, be characterized by ones' inability to make key life decisions or lack of interest in personal well-being. Some forms of humor may be deemed "immature" by the public, but I am under the impression that humor does not always directly reflect ones' level of maturity. I think in order to mature properly and healthily, one must maintain their sense of humor. It makes you, well, you. Some of the most mature, responsible adults that I have met in my life still maintain a sense of humor that allows them to still laugh at seemingly childish or immature humor. Growing up doesn't mean that you must become a dried up old prune, it means that you can commit to the decisions you make and be responsible. Many times as you mature, your judgment will be tested. Truly mature people will seek out the best answer to fit their needs, whereas an immature person may be easily swayed and persuaded. Tossed to and fro. Notice the difference.

I hope you can understand the point I am trying to make. We all need to grow up. However, we don't need to dry up. True wisdom must be accompanied by a sense of humor. Don't lose what makes you, you. Merely refine who you are. If someone tries to tell you to grow up because you have a sense of humor, tell them to grow up and get one. "Become even as a little child." I believe that statement to include personality. Don't let life and a false sense of being "grown up" dry you up and destroy that special part of you that makes you different.

Grow up. Don't dry up. Accept others for who they are.

T.

Ready or Not.

Are you ready? Well, if you keep saying that you aren't, then you never will be. Many times we convince ourselves to wait. To resist change. To resist opportunities for happiness. Take a step back and think about your life. Do you feel stuck? Do you feel like shutting yourself in? Those feelings, however common, are not healthy. Changes/improvements must be made to our lives. It's an ongoing process in life. We must constantly make those daily changes in our lives become our best selves. We must take risks to get the reward.

My post is short tonight, but to the point. Make changes, take risks, and don't waste your life waiting to be ready; you won't be. Just live.

T.

Reinvention

After taking a needed creative break from the world of blogging, I am back.

The world is an interesting place. Full of twists and turns. Ups and downs. Rights and wrongs. It is constantly changing. And as the world is undergoing change, we are too. We are constantly reinventing ourselves, adapting to whatever circumstances are before us. It is necessary that we change; for there are but a few things that will always remain constant. Change is part of the laws of survival. There are also degrees of change. Minor to major; rethinking to complete reinvention.

I'd like to focus on reinvention. It has ties into both that which is temporal and that which is spiritual. I consider some of the greatest men to have walked the Earth to be reinvented men, who at some point in their lives were in need of reinvention to achieve their purpose. They had to change, refocus, and rethink everything until they became their best selves. However, seeing as perfection is a feat that none of us can ever achieve in this life, the reinvention process can take some time; our entire lives if we need it.

If you don't like where you are in life, maybe some reinvention is necessary. Sacrifices and decisions have to be made so that we can get to that place that we want to be. We must earn that which we think we deserve. Change just doesn't happen. It is sought after, thought about, and acted upon. There are no handouts. If someone or something makes you happy, so what is necessary to keep them or it close. If you see that change is necessary in your immediate future, don't procrastinate it. Embrace it. There is nothing to fear. There is, however, everything to gain.

Reinvent yourself. Good things come to those who earn it.

T.

Week 28: Do's and Don'ts

Do or don't? A frequently asked question. Although this debate happens mainly within our subconscious, we are always faced with choices. Our mind then immediately begins to weigh its options and draw conclusions. Then we choose and act. But let's focus on the why. Why do we or don't we do the things we do?

Some argue that the choices we make are determined by a particular predisposition while other argue that our choices are shaped by that which surrounds us. The whole nature vs. nurture debate. While I do not plan to argue in favor of either point, I will ask, Why do YOU do the things you do? I have often questioned myself about this. Every time I make a mistake, the first thing that goes through my mind is, Why did I just do that? Think back to your own experiences. For example, have you ever purposely tried to annoy someone else, when if somebody had done the same to you, you would be upset? What drives us? Is it a moral compass? An uncontrollable predisposition? I believe that a 100% factual answer cannot be reached. It is a matter of opinion.

I recently discussed with one of my dearest friends one side of the argument. We discussed the role of circumstances in the event that we became friends. Would we, if put under different situations, still achieve the level of friendship we have? Or was destiny the deciding factor in our friendship. I thought about all the different possibilities and probabilities and my mind became overwhelmed. Then I realized something more important that the why or how things happened: the aftermath. What really matters is how we handle the situation that our choices make. We cannot concern ourselves with things of the past. We must look to the future. So who cares about how my friend and I became so close? I should be grateful that I have this person in my life. End of discussion. So forget what it is that brought you to where you are in life. Just focus on making the best of what you have been given. Give thanks to your Maker for all you have and do what is necessary to continue in a positive direction.

You have no limits. Don't let the past drag you down. Look to the future. Make the most of your do's and don'ts. Just live.

T.

Week 20-Something: Embrace

Embrace is an interesting word. Embrace the truth, a sweet embrace; just two of the many ways that we use this word. I've said it a lot in my head lately for various reasons and just now it had dawned on me the significance it plays in my life.

Fact and truth go hand in hand. Sometimes we must change our lives completely in order to embrace a truth we have come to know or once knew in better days. When we find that truth, we should make those changes to embrace it. It will lead to happiness. It is, however, a lifelong process. Facts may be true, but they may not always make us happy. At times in our lives we may be required to embrace a hard fact and get on with our lives. Embrace the fact that we don't always get our way. That fact, has personal significance. I've realized I will not get everything I want. I do have faith however that I will get everything need and deserve, good or bad. I'm not upset. I am content with what I have and will appreciate anything I am given. I have embraced it.

I think the thing that all humans need and hope for is a sweet embrace. This does not always mean a physical attraction or that one true love, but it does imply that whether it be family, friend or loved one, we all want and need that little slice of attention. We could be having a horrible day or an amazing one, but at the end of it a simple hug or even an understanding look will be enough to complete the good day or to mend a broken spirit. There have been times where all hope felt lost or happiness felt unachievable but that simple hug made everything disappear if even only for a short time. We also need to strive for opportunities to be that changing force in others lives. Give them that sweet embrace they so desire.

This weeks shoutout section goes out to Ryan Summers. He is one of my longest, and best friends. We've been through lots and have raised a lot of hell as well. But earlier this week he brought up a topic that I felt required reflection and discussion. He asked me if I had ever been in love. I wasn't sure how to answer him. My single-ness wanted to say no but as I looked back at past relationships my opinion changed. There are degrees of love. What do you all think? I'd appreciate any and all thoughts on the subject.

Remember: Embrace

T.

Week 23: No More Waiting. Move On.

I think each one of us is entitled to rage a little every now and then. I know we all wish the world was all peaches and cream, but, frankly, it isn't. It just sucks when you realize that even more changes have to be made than you had originally planned. Over the last couple months my life has taken some drastic turns. The disappointments have outweighed the wins but I've kept myself going. I have learned to almost never get my hopes up. Trust must be given out reluctantly. Emotions can't be allowed to get in the way of decision making. You can't over think. I believe we should all think more because you should never act or react without all the facts.

Even though life is rough, I am ready to take the bull by the horns. I have this vision of the next five years and it has nothing to do with how my life is now. I am planning a 180 degree flip on my life. I feel it is the only thing left for me to do. I've pursued many avenues and ideas and none have paid off. The future, however, is bright and hopeful. I just believe that future is far from here. I've made all the wrong choices. It's time to start making the right ones. The right choices for me are not the right choices for others. That's why people come and go. Sadly, paths cross but don't always run side by side. We have to accept that. However, along may come someone that you want to have in your life, so you have to redirect your path to run alongside theirs. It's no ones fault but our own when we push others away. If we really want them to stay, we must make the effort. But sometimes they don't want us to stay and take their path away from ours. Nothing we can do about that.

If you want to be happy, be happy. It's up to us to make our own happiness. Even when life beats you down, you have the choice to be happy. I choose being happy. We should all choose to be happy. Some do not, however. My heart goes out to them.

I am done waiting and I'm moving on. I'm going to take life by storm and no one will recognize me when I'm done. Be happy.

T.

Week 22: The Nerve

It's hard to focus on being happy when life is attacking you on all fronts. There are so many things, people and situations that keep us from happiness. Lately I couldn't help but feeling that everyone was conspiring against me. I tried so hard to keep my suspiciousness out of the equation but I failed at every turn. I found myself blaming everyone else for my problems and short comings, when really the fault is my own. We cannot control what others do or say, but we can certainly control our reaction. Now I am sure that everyone wasn't out to destroy my life, but even if they had been, I could have handled myself a lot better. I was on the verge of giving up, and forfeiting my happiness. I felt I needed to run away to be happy. I am not going anywhere. I will continue in my efforts to become the best me I can be. It's a journey. The road to a better life. We must all choose to continue down that road or to turn back. There is no gray area.

The nerve of this generation amazes me. The things that are considered normal these days would have been shunned in days passed. We will do whatever it takes to get ahead in this life; back stabbing, lying, shadiness, slander. The ends DO NOT justify the means. We need to think about our actions and choices. We can't take advantage of others to get ahead anymore. Honesty must be our policy. When we throw that out, we lose a part of our humanity.

Misery loves company: A true statement. Instead of being miserable together, we should change our sadness into a cause: to help one another be our best selves. Lift others. Don't tear others down. Help others while helping yourself.

I've now started a new weekly spot in my blog for shout outs. This week, one person will be the recipient of a shout out. Lesly Polite is another dear friend I met through my job. She is a very cool down to Earth girl that never fails to make me laugh. She is someone that deserves any good thing that comes her way. Lately, I've noticed that she has seemed happier, more full of life. She does deserve it. To the person that has caused this happiness, please keep it up because she deserves the best.

Life is to short to be engulfed in our own problems. They are our problems, not others' problems. We all have the ability to overcome, and rise above. While doing so, we need to help others do the same. Being civilized humans is the only thing that can save our generation. A good friend and I recently discussed this very topic. We came to the conclusion that all we can do is be our best self, and endure. The rest will fall into place. I believe that as I begin to accomplish this goal, no one will recognize me. I will have changed; for the better.

You are amazing. Don't let life get you down. Don't let the nerve of others corrupt you. Stay true to yourself and what you know is right.

T.

Week 20: The Road is Long

One thing that I have come to realize is that the road to a better life is a long one. Also, talk is cheap. The real test is our endurance on that long road. That is why I have always kind of laughed at flimsy new years resolutions, most of which are not fulfilled nor completed. I have found that the resolutions we make that truly benefit us are the ones that we are the most likely to fulfill. These are the ones that require the most work and the most time. If you are on the road to a better life as I am, stay on track. Don't let the little distractions of life keep you from achieving that ultimate goal. Problems will arise. People will get in the way. Just do you and look out for your personal well-being first. The rest will follow.

I will always be of the opinion that those who truly care about us will always be in our lives no matter how many times we mess up or offend them. I'm sure we can all think of those people in our lives. Whether they be family or friends, they are there. However, are we that type of person for others? Do others count on you to always be there? If so, are you? Something to think about.

This week on twitter I asked who wanted a shout out in this blog post and five people answered my call. The first of these is a good friend that I met through my job, Lance Salazar. Lance is a genuinely nice, thoughtful person who always puts others above himself. He is a hard worker and is just a great reliable friend. Another of these people is also another valued friend I met through my job. It is none other than the one and only Braden Chinn. This kid is the sickest. Braden is hilarious and also a very nice person who happens to share my dislike for stupid people. His only downfall is baseball... hahaha jk. I know he'll be mad at me for that. Third on the list of people is Rachel Nance. I met Rachel through a mutual friend that I've known for quite some time. Rachel is a girl that knows how to have a good time! There is never a dull or awkward moment with her. That's the truth! Always been able to put a smile on my face. Fourth, Joseph Ataata (aka FreshPrinceofUT, Toko Joe, Uncle Toko, Codfish Joe, The boss, Duck-Shirt Dynasty, and poopface McGoo). He just might be the loudest people I've ever met, but I wouldn't unmeet him for anything. He really has turned out to be one of my best friends. To others he may come of as blunt, but what they do not know is that he has a soft side that is kind and considerate. I look to him for advice. And if you need a good laugh, look no further. Get to know him. You may be surprised with what you find. And last, but certainly not least is Kayleigh Shaughnessy. It's hard for me to describe her role in my life in just a couple sentences. She is my dearest friend. She has always been there for me. Our friendship is so deep that no one, I repeat, no one else fully understands. The amount of inside jokes alone is enough to surprise most. I feel like these words don't quite do her justice. Kayleigh is very talented, funny, and outgoing. Without her I might have gone insane long ago. For you, my dear friend. Taylor + Kayleigh = Good (Mrs. Yeschick's class).

Well folks, that's all for this week. Until next time. Stay on the road to your better life. Help those in need. Be there for someone.

T.

Week 19.5: Destroy what destroys you.

I couldn't wait until a full week had passed before I posted again. So much has been on my mind as of late. I have experienced some new things this week. I found myself waking up in the middle of the night with a racing heart beat in a cold sweat. All I could gather from my half awake brain was that I was worried; intensely worried. I could not, however, remember what had me so worked up. I couldn't calm down. This, in turn, worried me even more. I have finally come to the conclusion that all the chaos in my life is just too much. I am too caught up in meaningless things. These things put me in a constant bad mood with a short temper. I have noticed that when I begin to cut these things out of my life, my composure is restored. My heart rate levels out and I am once again calm. That calm feeling is the most blissful feeling one can experience. I long for it. I know where to find it. The one thing standing in my way is real intent; the hardest thing to get.

I, as well as all of you, have things to work on. No one is perfect. But, I feel like I'm on the verge of something big. It's like everything in my life is slowly leading up to a singular event. A life changing event. Maybe that event is a choice. Only time will tell. I think sometimes we aren't quite ready for that which is to come. We must be prepared by whatever life throws at us. So when that day comes, I will be ready and willing to do what must be done.

Destroy what destroys you. Prepare yourself. Something big is coming. But only if you let it happen. Be willing.

T.

Week 19: Forget it, It's not worth your time

I've been purposely neglecting this blog for the past few weeks. You see, I've thought and thought about what I could possibly say that wouldn't depress the reading audience. I have been really unhappy and pessimistic lately and I did not want that to rub off on everyone. I found myself purposely isolated from my friends and family. I had a lot of time to really think things over. I now advise you to not do the same thing. Isolation isn't the answer. It will just make things worse. Life must be lived. Life must be enjoyed, not endured. Put to good use, not squandered. If you find yourself in a less than favorable situation, get out. Don't hide and beat up on yourself for it. Take control of your life. Make changes. I have been obsessed lately with this intense desire to get back in control of my life and destination. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to achieve this. This obsession, however, must require some caution. In my efforts to gain control I have been faced with many large decisions. Careful to not make the wrong ones. You only have one mortal existence. Don't waste it on stupidity. Use it for the benefit of others.

I will admit that my life has gone in the complete opposite direction that I had imagined it would since my return from my 2-year hiatus. That fact depressed me. It still does. But I have chosen to not dwell on it anymore. I am taking my life in a new direction.

During my 2-year hiatus, I met many people. People that changed my life for the better. People that influenced me to keep on the straight and narrow. One of these people, Tanton Jeppson, really made a lasting impression. He and I were thrown every curveball and disappointment. Every plan we had went to the pot it seems. But he helped me to persevere and get up everyday and work on our lonely island. To this day, I use the things I learned from him to help me get up everyday and work. Thanks buddy.

Well this is all I have for today.

Forget about the small things, they are not worth your worry and strife. Get control of your life.

T.

Week 16: The Line

Weeks are going by faster and faster. I honestly can't believe how long I've been keeping this blog going.

There is something that I have been thinking a lot about recently; escaping and running away. Those are two very similar but different things. Where is the line between the two drawn? I consider "running away" to be a rather non-heroic to solve ones problems, and "escaping" being similar but the necessary way to solve problems. If someone was kidnapped, you wouldn't criticize them for running away from their problems, you would applaud them for escaping. How does this relate to our everyday lives? Our lives are plagued by problems. All problems need solutions. Many choose not to solve life's problems by running from them, but when is running the proper solution?? When it's escaping. Though it varies from person to person, sometimes the line between the two is smudged. In my life I've noticed that running from certain problems is my only escape. Some may not see it as an escape but rather running from my problems. Know this, I do not run. I only do what is best for me and those around me. I feel that the important thing is that you just don't give up on life or on yourself.

The most common form of dishonesty is that of omission. What you don't say is just as bad as what you do say.

Think about where you want to be in 10 years. Are the choices you are making and people you surround yourself with helping you to achieve that ultimate goal? If not, fix it. Are you the person you know you can be? If not, fix it. Are you living up to your responsibilities or your age? If not, fix it. If you choose not to fix it, then don't complain about life. Count your blessings. Life is too short to gossip, to be catty, to cause drama. Sometimes all you have to do is turn the other cheek and keep your mouth shut. Let others make their own choices and do what's best for you and your own life. Live with the consequences of your choices. After all, they are YOUR choices.

Live life to the fullest. Leave behind that which holds you back. Escape.

T.

Week 15: Reality.

As you read this, I want you to know that I am not depressed. I do not need sympathy. I know it may seem like it, but I am merely stating reality as I currently view it.

I used to see the world in pictures and color. Lately, my vision is clouded by some unknown thing. It may be distraction, it may be anger, pessimism or even a thin layer of sadness. I miss the days where I'd wake up and he ideas would flow through my brain, and hopes would run high. I have been taking measures to regain that blissful optimism but results have yet to be seen.

It's funny, you can find yourself surrounded by people all the time, but feel totally alone. You have fun, but the feeling isn't genuine. Even amongst your closest friends, you feel the need to have your guard up for fear of back-biting and back-stabbing. I do not remember that existing in the past. Maybe my youthful mind left me oblivious to it. Maybe I was the cause of it. Maybe I chose not to let it affect me so. I believe what affects me the most is how blunt and blatant it all has become. No one hides their shame. It's all published to the world. I recently discussed this with the person I hold most dear, and they agreed to a certain extent. So it did help me to know I wasn't the only one plagued by these feelings of loneliness. Is it the times we live in? Or is it just bad luck? Am I old fashioned? Am I just a baby? Perhaps.

I let people believe that I am a lot more oblivious to the world than I am. It's my way of testing trust and loyalty; true friendship. Maybe I should go about it in a different way. Maybe that's my problem. But in that way, I've found who I can trust and who only tells me what I want to hear to save themselves.

But life isn't all loneliness and pessimism for me. There are many things that get me through the day. I look back to my time in the Lord's service and I remember what is most important. More important than my problems; more important than what's current. It's the Gospel. Now, I promised not to get preachy publically, but I will say, it is the only thing that has provided me with the relief I need as of late. It's where I find solace in unsettling times.

Now, I promise to have a happier post the next time around. I refuse to let myself drown in such pessimistic feelings. And I hope that I can once again view the world in photos as I once did. That would be a giant leap forward.

T.

Week 14: Cheers to Not Being Stupid

I have skipped week 13 because everyone knows that 13 is an unlucky number.

This post may be a little different from posts in the past. I'm really fed up with stupid people. Grow up, world. I have come to realize that my life for the past few months has been plagued with High School-esque drama and pettiness. I have made my fair share of contributions to that drama but I still am fed up. It's time to grow up and move on. Why do we stab each others backs? Why do we gossip and lie? Why are we dishonest with our fellowman? Why are we shady with one another? It's simple; immaturity is what drives each and every one of those questions. My mother told me that if we are not moving forward, we can't stay in one place, we only can go backward. I've found that to be the case. Once we start on that dangerous slope backwards, it then becomes extra hard to pick back up and get ourselves moving forward. Decisions become harder, life becomes unfair, and we become unhappy. Ask yourself, Is that what you really want? To be unhappy? I highly doubt that any one of us wants or desires unhappiness. That, my friends, is illogical. Let's try a little harder to be happy. And if you are one of those people that feels like you are doing all you can to move forward and be happy, and you just don't feel it, don't worry, it will come in time. It may not come in the precise moment you'd like it too, but it does come. In that sense, you could say, I believe in Karma; good things happen to good people. I firmly believe that to be true.

So, get over it, people.

I'm hopeful that as I try to move forward with life that I will see that good Karma coming back my way (because I could use it).

So long for now. (full post tomorrow (maybe))

T.