Week 28: Do's and Don'ts

Do or don't? A frequently asked question. Although this debate happens mainly within our subconscious, we are always faced with choices. Our mind then immediately begins to weigh its options and draw conclusions. Then we choose and act. But let's focus on the why. Why do we or don't we do the things we do?

Some argue that the choices we make are determined by a particular predisposition while other argue that our choices are shaped by that which surrounds us. The whole nature vs. nurture debate. While I do not plan to argue in favor of either point, I will ask, Why do YOU do the things you do? I have often questioned myself about this. Every time I make a mistake, the first thing that goes through my mind is, Why did I just do that? Think back to your own experiences. For example, have you ever purposely tried to annoy someone else, when if somebody had done the same to you, you would be upset? What drives us? Is it a moral compass? An uncontrollable predisposition? I believe that a 100% factual answer cannot be reached. It is a matter of opinion.

I recently discussed with one of my dearest friends one side of the argument. We discussed the role of circumstances in the event that we became friends. Would we, if put under different situations, still achieve the level of friendship we have? Or was destiny the deciding factor in our friendship. I thought about all the different possibilities and probabilities and my mind became overwhelmed. Then I realized something more important that the why or how things happened: the aftermath. What really matters is how we handle the situation that our choices make. We cannot concern ourselves with things of the past. We must look to the future. So who cares about how my friend and I became so close? I should be grateful that I have this person in my life. End of discussion. So forget what it is that brought you to where you are in life. Just focus on making the best of what you have been given. Give thanks to your Maker for all you have and do what is necessary to continue in a positive direction.

You have no limits. Don't let the past drag you down. Look to the future. Make the most of your do's and don'ts. Just live.

T.

Week 20-Something: Embrace

Embrace is an interesting word. Embrace the truth, a sweet embrace; just two of the many ways that we use this word. I've said it a lot in my head lately for various reasons and just now it had dawned on me the significance it plays in my life.

Fact and truth go hand in hand. Sometimes we must change our lives completely in order to embrace a truth we have come to know or once knew in better days. When we find that truth, we should make those changes to embrace it. It will lead to happiness. It is, however, a lifelong process. Facts may be true, but they may not always make us happy. At times in our lives we may be required to embrace a hard fact and get on with our lives. Embrace the fact that we don't always get our way. That fact, has personal significance. I've realized I will not get everything I want. I do have faith however that I will get everything need and deserve, good or bad. I'm not upset. I am content with what I have and will appreciate anything I am given. I have embraced it.

I think the thing that all humans need and hope for is a sweet embrace. This does not always mean a physical attraction or that one true love, but it does imply that whether it be family, friend or loved one, we all want and need that little slice of attention. We could be having a horrible day or an amazing one, but at the end of it a simple hug or even an understanding look will be enough to complete the good day or to mend a broken spirit. There have been times where all hope felt lost or happiness felt unachievable but that simple hug made everything disappear if even only for a short time. We also need to strive for opportunities to be that changing force in others lives. Give them that sweet embrace they so desire.

This weeks shoutout section goes out to Ryan Summers. He is one of my longest, and best friends. We've been through lots and have raised a lot of hell as well. But earlier this week he brought up a topic that I felt required reflection and discussion. He asked me if I had ever been in love. I wasn't sure how to answer him. My single-ness wanted to say no but as I looked back at past relationships my opinion changed. There are degrees of love. What do you all think? I'd appreciate any and all thoughts on the subject.

Remember: Embrace

T.

Week 23: No More Waiting. Move On.

I think each one of us is entitled to rage a little every now and then. I know we all wish the world was all peaches and cream, but, frankly, it isn't. It just sucks when you realize that even more changes have to be made than you had originally planned. Over the last couple months my life has taken some drastic turns. The disappointments have outweighed the wins but I've kept myself going. I have learned to almost never get my hopes up. Trust must be given out reluctantly. Emotions can't be allowed to get in the way of decision making. You can't over think. I believe we should all think more because you should never act or react without all the facts.

Even though life is rough, I am ready to take the bull by the horns. I have this vision of the next five years and it has nothing to do with how my life is now. I am planning a 180 degree flip on my life. I feel it is the only thing left for me to do. I've pursued many avenues and ideas and none have paid off. The future, however, is bright and hopeful. I just believe that future is far from here. I've made all the wrong choices. It's time to start making the right ones. The right choices for me are not the right choices for others. That's why people come and go. Sadly, paths cross but don't always run side by side. We have to accept that. However, along may come someone that you want to have in your life, so you have to redirect your path to run alongside theirs. It's no ones fault but our own when we push others away. If we really want them to stay, we must make the effort. But sometimes they don't want us to stay and take their path away from ours. Nothing we can do about that.

If you want to be happy, be happy. It's up to us to make our own happiness. Even when life beats you down, you have the choice to be happy. I choose being happy. We should all choose to be happy. Some do not, however. My heart goes out to them.

I am done waiting and I'm moving on. I'm going to take life by storm and no one will recognize me when I'm done. Be happy.

T.