Week 22: The Nerve

It's hard to focus on being happy when life is attacking you on all fronts. There are so many things, people and situations that keep us from happiness. Lately I couldn't help but feeling that everyone was conspiring against me. I tried so hard to keep my suspiciousness out of the equation but I failed at every turn. I found myself blaming everyone else for my problems and short comings, when really the fault is my own. We cannot control what others do or say, but we can certainly control our reaction. Now I am sure that everyone wasn't out to destroy my life, but even if they had been, I could have handled myself a lot better. I was on the verge of giving up, and forfeiting my happiness. I felt I needed to run away to be happy. I am not going anywhere. I will continue in my efforts to become the best me I can be. It's a journey. The road to a better life. We must all choose to continue down that road or to turn back. There is no gray area.

The nerve of this generation amazes me. The things that are considered normal these days would have been shunned in days passed. We will do whatever it takes to get ahead in this life; back stabbing, lying, shadiness, slander. The ends DO NOT justify the means. We need to think about our actions and choices. We can't take advantage of others to get ahead anymore. Honesty must be our policy. When we throw that out, we lose a part of our humanity.

Misery loves company: A true statement. Instead of being miserable together, we should change our sadness into a cause: to help one another be our best selves. Lift others. Don't tear others down. Help others while helping yourself.

I've now started a new weekly spot in my blog for shout outs. This week, one person will be the recipient of a shout out. Lesly Polite is another dear friend I met through my job. She is a very cool down to Earth girl that never fails to make me laugh. She is someone that deserves any good thing that comes her way. Lately, I've noticed that she has seemed happier, more full of life. She does deserve it. To the person that has caused this happiness, please keep it up because she deserves the best.

Life is to short to be engulfed in our own problems. They are our problems, not others' problems. We all have the ability to overcome, and rise above. While doing so, we need to help others do the same. Being civilized humans is the only thing that can save our generation. A good friend and I recently discussed this very topic. We came to the conclusion that all we can do is be our best self, and endure. The rest will fall into place. I believe that as I begin to accomplish this goal, no one will recognize me. I will have changed; for the better.

You are amazing. Don't let life get you down. Don't let the nerve of others corrupt you. Stay true to yourself and what you know is right.

T.

Week 20: The Road is Long

One thing that I have come to realize is that the road to a better life is a long one. Also, talk is cheap. The real test is our endurance on that long road. That is why I have always kind of laughed at flimsy new years resolutions, most of which are not fulfilled nor completed. I have found that the resolutions we make that truly benefit us are the ones that we are the most likely to fulfill. These are the ones that require the most work and the most time. If you are on the road to a better life as I am, stay on track. Don't let the little distractions of life keep you from achieving that ultimate goal. Problems will arise. People will get in the way. Just do you and look out for your personal well-being first. The rest will follow.

I will always be of the opinion that those who truly care about us will always be in our lives no matter how many times we mess up or offend them. I'm sure we can all think of those people in our lives. Whether they be family or friends, they are there. However, are we that type of person for others? Do others count on you to always be there? If so, are you? Something to think about.

This week on twitter I asked who wanted a shout out in this blog post and five people answered my call. The first of these is a good friend that I met through my job, Lance Salazar. Lance is a genuinely nice, thoughtful person who always puts others above himself. He is a hard worker and is just a great reliable friend. Another of these people is also another valued friend I met through my job. It is none other than the one and only Braden Chinn. This kid is the sickest. Braden is hilarious and also a very nice person who happens to share my dislike for stupid people. His only downfall is baseball... hahaha jk. I know he'll be mad at me for that. Third on the list of people is Rachel Nance. I met Rachel through a mutual friend that I've known for quite some time. Rachel is a girl that knows how to have a good time! There is never a dull or awkward moment with her. That's the truth! Always been able to put a smile on my face. Fourth, Joseph Ataata (aka FreshPrinceofUT, Toko Joe, Uncle Toko, Codfish Joe, The boss, Duck-Shirt Dynasty, and poopface McGoo). He just might be the loudest people I've ever met, but I wouldn't unmeet him for anything. He really has turned out to be one of my best friends. To others he may come of as blunt, but what they do not know is that he has a soft side that is kind and considerate. I look to him for advice. And if you need a good laugh, look no further. Get to know him. You may be surprised with what you find. And last, but certainly not least is Kayleigh Shaughnessy. It's hard for me to describe her role in my life in just a couple sentences. She is my dearest friend. She has always been there for me. Our friendship is so deep that no one, I repeat, no one else fully understands. The amount of inside jokes alone is enough to surprise most. I feel like these words don't quite do her justice. Kayleigh is very talented, funny, and outgoing. Without her I might have gone insane long ago. For you, my dear friend. Taylor + Kayleigh = Good (Mrs. Yeschick's class).

Well folks, that's all for this week. Until next time. Stay on the road to your better life. Help those in need. Be there for someone.

T.

Week 19.5: Destroy what destroys you.

I couldn't wait until a full week had passed before I posted again. So much has been on my mind as of late. I have experienced some new things this week. I found myself waking up in the middle of the night with a racing heart beat in a cold sweat. All I could gather from my half awake brain was that I was worried; intensely worried. I could not, however, remember what had me so worked up. I couldn't calm down. This, in turn, worried me even more. I have finally come to the conclusion that all the chaos in my life is just too much. I am too caught up in meaningless things. These things put me in a constant bad mood with a short temper. I have noticed that when I begin to cut these things out of my life, my composure is restored. My heart rate levels out and I am once again calm. That calm feeling is the most blissful feeling one can experience. I long for it. I know where to find it. The one thing standing in my way is real intent; the hardest thing to get.

I, as well as all of you, have things to work on. No one is perfect. But, I feel like I'm on the verge of something big. It's like everything in my life is slowly leading up to a singular event. A life changing event. Maybe that event is a choice. Only time will tell. I think sometimes we aren't quite ready for that which is to come. We must be prepared by whatever life throws at us. So when that day comes, I will be ready and willing to do what must be done.

Destroy what destroys you. Prepare yourself. Something big is coming. But only if you let it happen. Be willing.

T.

Week 19: Forget it, It's not worth your time

I've been purposely neglecting this blog for the past few weeks. You see, I've thought and thought about what I could possibly say that wouldn't depress the reading audience. I have been really unhappy and pessimistic lately and I did not want that to rub off on everyone. I found myself purposely isolated from my friends and family. I had a lot of time to really think things over. I now advise you to not do the same thing. Isolation isn't the answer. It will just make things worse. Life must be lived. Life must be enjoyed, not endured. Put to good use, not squandered. If you find yourself in a less than favorable situation, get out. Don't hide and beat up on yourself for it. Take control of your life. Make changes. I have been obsessed lately with this intense desire to get back in control of my life and destination. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to achieve this. This obsession, however, must require some caution. In my efforts to gain control I have been faced with many large decisions. Careful to not make the wrong ones. You only have one mortal existence. Don't waste it on stupidity. Use it for the benefit of others.

I will admit that my life has gone in the complete opposite direction that I had imagined it would since my return from my 2-year hiatus. That fact depressed me. It still does. But I have chosen to not dwell on it anymore. I am taking my life in a new direction.

During my 2-year hiatus, I met many people. People that changed my life for the better. People that influenced me to keep on the straight and narrow. One of these people, Tanton Jeppson, really made a lasting impression. He and I were thrown every curveball and disappointment. Every plan we had went to the pot it seems. But he helped me to persevere and get up everyday and work on our lonely island. To this day, I use the things I learned from him to help me get up everyday and work. Thanks buddy.

Well this is all I have for today.

Forget about the small things, they are not worth your worry and strife. Get control of your life.

T.