Weeks are going by faster and faster. I honestly can't believe how long I've been keeping this blog going.
There is something that I have been thinking a lot about recently; escaping and running away. Those are two very similar but different things. Where is the line between the two drawn? I consider "running away" to be a rather non-heroic to solve ones problems, and "escaping" being similar but the necessary way to solve problems. If someone was kidnapped, you wouldn't criticize them for running away from their problems, you would applaud them for escaping. How does this relate to our everyday lives? Our lives are plagued by problems. All problems need solutions. Many choose not to solve life's problems by running from them, but when is running the proper solution?? When it's escaping. Though it varies from person to person, sometimes the line between the two is smudged. In my life I've noticed that running from certain problems is my only escape. Some may not see it as an escape but rather running from my problems. Know this, I do not run. I only do what is best for me and those around me. I feel that the important thing is that you just don't give up on life or on yourself.
The most common form of dishonesty is that of omission. What you don't say is just as bad as what you do say.
Think about where you want to be in 10 years. Are the choices you are making and people you surround yourself with helping you to achieve that ultimate goal? If not, fix it. Are you the person you know you can be? If not, fix it. Are you living up to your responsibilities or your age? If not, fix it. If you choose not to fix it, then don't complain about life. Count your blessings. Life is too short to gossip, to be catty, to cause drama. Sometimes all you have to do is turn the other cheek and keep your mouth shut. Let others make their own choices and do what's best for you and your own life. Live with the consequences of your choices. After all, they are YOUR choices.
Live life to the fullest. Leave behind that which holds you back. Escape.
T.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Week 15: Reality.
As you read this, I want you to know that I am not depressed. I do not need sympathy. I know it may seem like it, but I am merely stating reality as I currently view it.
I used to see the world in pictures and color. Lately, my vision is clouded by some unknown thing. It may be distraction, it may be anger, pessimism or even a thin layer of sadness. I miss the days where I'd wake up and he ideas would flow through my brain, and hopes would run high. I have been taking measures to regain that blissful optimism but results have yet to be seen.
It's funny, you can find yourself surrounded by people all the time, but feel totally alone. You have fun, but the feeling isn't genuine. Even amongst your closest friends, you feel the need to have your guard up for fear of back-biting and back-stabbing. I do not remember that existing in the past. Maybe my youthful mind left me oblivious to it. Maybe I was the cause of it. Maybe I chose not to let it affect me so. I believe what affects me the most is how blunt and blatant it all has become. No one hides their shame. It's all published to the world. I recently discussed this with the person I hold most dear, and they agreed to a certain extent. So it did help me to know I wasn't the only one plagued by these feelings of loneliness. Is it the times we live in? Or is it just bad luck? Am I old fashioned? Am I just a baby? Perhaps.
I let people believe that I am a lot more oblivious to the world than I am. It's my way of testing trust and loyalty; true friendship. Maybe I should go about it in a different way. Maybe that's my problem. But in that way, I've found who I can trust and who only tells me what I want to hear to save themselves.
But life isn't all loneliness and pessimism for me. There are many things that get me through the day. I look back to my time in the Lord's service and I remember what is most important. More important than my problems; more important than what's current. It's the Gospel. Now, I promised not to get preachy publically, but I will say, it is the only thing that has provided me with the relief I need as of late. It's where I find solace in unsettling times.
Now, I promise to have a happier post the next time around. I refuse to let myself drown in such pessimistic feelings. And I hope that I can once again view the world in photos as I once did. That would be a giant leap forward.
T.
I used to see the world in pictures and color. Lately, my vision is clouded by some unknown thing. It may be distraction, it may be anger, pessimism or even a thin layer of sadness. I miss the days where I'd wake up and he ideas would flow through my brain, and hopes would run high. I have been taking measures to regain that blissful optimism but results have yet to be seen.
It's funny, you can find yourself surrounded by people all the time, but feel totally alone. You have fun, but the feeling isn't genuine. Even amongst your closest friends, you feel the need to have your guard up for fear of back-biting and back-stabbing. I do not remember that existing in the past. Maybe my youthful mind left me oblivious to it. Maybe I was the cause of it. Maybe I chose not to let it affect me so. I believe what affects me the most is how blunt and blatant it all has become. No one hides their shame. It's all published to the world. I recently discussed this with the person I hold most dear, and they agreed to a certain extent. So it did help me to know I wasn't the only one plagued by these feelings of loneliness. Is it the times we live in? Or is it just bad luck? Am I old fashioned? Am I just a baby? Perhaps.
I let people believe that I am a lot more oblivious to the world than I am. It's my way of testing trust and loyalty; true friendship. Maybe I should go about it in a different way. Maybe that's my problem. But in that way, I've found who I can trust and who only tells me what I want to hear to save themselves.
But life isn't all loneliness and pessimism for me. There are many things that get me through the day. I look back to my time in the Lord's service and I remember what is most important. More important than my problems; more important than what's current. It's the Gospel. Now, I promised not to get preachy publically, but I will say, it is the only thing that has provided me with the relief I need as of late. It's where I find solace in unsettling times.
Now, I promise to have a happier post the next time around. I refuse to let myself drown in such pessimistic feelings. And I hope that I can once again view the world in photos as I once did. That would be a giant leap forward.
T.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Week 14: Cheers to Not Being Stupid
I have skipped week 13 because everyone knows that 13 is an unlucky number.
This post may be a little different from posts in the past. I'm really fed up with stupid people. Grow up, world. I have come to realize that my life for the past few months has been plagued with High School-esque drama and pettiness. I have made my fair share of contributions to that drama but I still am fed up. It's time to grow up and move on. Why do we stab each others backs? Why do we gossip and lie? Why are we dishonest with our fellowman? Why are we shady with one another? It's simple; immaturity is what drives each and every one of those questions. My mother told me that if we are not moving forward, we can't stay in one place, we only can go backward. I've found that to be the case. Once we start on that dangerous slope backwards, it then becomes extra hard to pick back up and get ourselves moving forward. Decisions become harder, life becomes unfair, and we become unhappy. Ask yourself, Is that what you really want? To be unhappy? I highly doubt that any one of us wants or desires unhappiness. That, my friends, is illogical. Let's try a little harder to be happy. And if you are one of those people that feels like you are doing all you can to move forward and be happy, and you just don't feel it, don't worry, it will come in time. It may not come in the precise moment you'd like it too, but it does come. In that sense, you could say, I believe in Karma; good things happen to good people. I firmly believe that to be true.
So, get over it, people.
I'm hopeful that as I try to move forward with life that I will see that good Karma coming back my way (because I could use it).
So long for now. (full post tomorrow (maybe))
T.
This post may be a little different from posts in the past. I'm really fed up with stupid people. Grow up, world. I have come to realize that my life for the past few months has been plagued with High School-esque drama and pettiness. I have made my fair share of contributions to that drama but I still am fed up. It's time to grow up and move on. Why do we stab each others backs? Why do we gossip and lie? Why are we dishonest with our fellowman? Why are we shady with one another? It's simple; immaturity is what drives each and every one of those questions. My mother told me that if we are not moving forward, we can't stay in one place, we only can go backward. I've found that to be the case. Once we start on that dangerous slope backwards, it then becomes extra hard to pick back up and get ourselves moving forward. Decisions become harder, life becomes unfair, and we become unhappy. Ask yourself, Is that what you really want? To be unhappy? I highly doubt that any one of us wants or desires unhappiness. That, my friends, is illogical. Let's try a little harder to be happy. And if you are one of those people that feels like you are doing all you can to move forward and be happy, and you just don't feel it, don't worry, it will come in time. It may not come in the precise moment you'd like it too, but it does come. In that sense, you could say, I believe in Karma; good things happen to good people. I firmly believe that to be true.
So, get over it, people.
I'm hopeful that as I try to move forward with life that I will see that good Karma coming back my way (because I could use it).
So long for now. (full post tomorrow (maybe))
T.
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